Someday (probably sooner than you think!) your children will ask questions about where they came from or where their siblings came from. (Or where the baby in your belly came from if you are a gestational surrogate!) For any parent or caregiver of kids both young and old, these are tough questions to answer, and those answers can be even more complicated when things like IVF or surrogacy are thrown in the mix.
When is the right time to talk about the birds, the bees, and surrogacy?
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide when you think your child is ready. (Maybe you’re still waiting to be ready to talk about it, too!) However, it’s a good idea to talk about surrogacy at an early age, preferably right from the start. Being transparent about it can not only ease the burden of having to answer more difficult questions later as your children get older, but it can also help children develop a more positive and constructive identity.
So, how do you actually “talk” to your children about surrogacy?
It may seem intimidating to think about bringing up the topic of surrogacy to a child. It’s a complicated topic with a lot of sub-topics that some parents may not know how to explain in a way a child could understand. Luckily, there are a ton of resources available that explore the age-old question of where do babies come from? specifically for kids of parents who built their families using gestational surrogacy.
Here are just a few of the books that you could consider reading to your child so they can understand surrogacy and where they may have come from a little better:
The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah Phillips
Daddy Dog and Papi Panda’s Rainbow Family: It Takes Love to Make a Family by Anthony Hale
Grown in Another Garden by Crystal Falk
Penny’s Pocket by Elizabeth K Hebl
Sophia’s Broken Crayons: A Story of Surrogacy from a Young Child’s Perspective by Crystal Falk
The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah Phillips
The Pea That Was Me (An Egg Donation Story) by Kimberly Kluger-Bell
The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children by Kimberly Kluger-Bell
Why I’m So Special: A Book About Surrogacy with Two Daddies by Carla Lewis-Long
You Began as a Wish by Kim Bergman, PhD
Explaining surrogacy to children can be challenging. Luckily, you don’t have to prepare for the challenge empty-handed. Each of these books helps explain surrogacy in a way that kids may understand. Consider sharing one (or more!) of these stories with your children as a way to introduce them to surrogacy – whether they are a child born from surrogacy or if you are a surrogate yourself carrying for an intended parent.
